Shallow Waldo

My movie picks this week include Shallow Hal and The Goonies. I had never seen Shallow Hal, and it turned out to be a fun movie. I realized that I am very, very shallow. 😉

Shallow Hal turned out be the second Gwyneth Paltrow movie I checked-out within the past week. Last week I saw Proof, which was a bad movie for her. I have a pet-peeve about such old hags playing people of much younger ages. I mean, Gwyneth is nearly forty years old now and yet she was playing a 27 year old. It was disgusting!

I also got Mean Girls this week. I had the same problem with it as I did Proof, Rachel McAdams is the same age as me, yet in Mean Girls, she plays a 15 to 16 year old woman! Now I happen to think Rachel McAdam is absolutely gorgeous, even with those blue eyes, but she is NOT 16-year-old gorgeous. It just makes me sick to see such obvious old hags pretending to be so much younger. Yuck!

Which brings me back to The Goonies. It has been one of my most favorite movies of all time. I had not seen it for a few years, and so was craving it for the past several months. I realized something important while watching it again. Something I had never thought about before, ever.

I am in love with Andy Carmichael.

And I’m not talking about some little crush or anything, like I’ve had on Britney Spears, and Emma Watson. I have modeled all my expectations on the ideal woman after Andy as she was perfectly played by the lovable and sensuous Kerri Green. I love her looks, her hair, her body, her attitude, her personality, her comfortability, and her grace. Andy Carmichael is the ideal woman. And I’ve been infatuated with this ideal for over twenty years without even knowing it.

The only thing I ever really remembered about Andy was how sexy she was and all the up-skirt shots of her there are in that movie. Yes, I’ve been lusting over her since I was nine years old. How pathetic.

When I watched that movie Wednesday, a lot of feelings saturated me. Not just lustful feelings, but a sincere acknowledgment of comfort, appreciation, loss, and longing, and a sense of belonging (and even more I can’t put words to). I’ve missed her. This is very provocative for me, and I don’t know where to go from here. All my girlfriends, and crushes have had a lot of Andy in them, but I’ve always kept wishing and hoping and waiting for . . . Andy. I just never knew it.

How shallow am I.

Another surprise for me was the fact that she wasn’t 14 as I had always thought. That’s right, Kerri Green was 18 when she made that movie. I don’t think I have ever seen an 18 year old woman look so pretty and perfect. And even as a thirty-something she still looks great.

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