Month: March 2006

This morning, as I settled into my favorite seat at the St. George branch of the Washington County Library, one of the librarians came over and introduced herself to me. I’m going to attribute it to kindness.

She said she sees me in here all the time and asked what exactly it was that I did. I answered “I write.” She asked if I was new here or if I lived here, I told her I lived here-I have, after all, for over two years now. Then she told me her name and asked for mine, then she said she sees me riding my bicycle all over, and told me welcome.

I have been receiving much more notice these past couple months. It’s been nice. It’s like, finally, after these two years of being treated as the scum of the earth, I have graduated to human, or at least monkey.

I appreciate that. 😀

So, the girls think I’m scary. O.K., I’m scary. I do not understand it, but I do accept it. To some extent. I do have to wonder what they think of me when I start giggling over a fun magazine story.

Two weeks ago, since the internet was down, (it’s still down by the way) I picked up the February 2006 copy of the New Era magazine. In it there is a story titled Independence Day, about a man with a pornography addiction. I admit, the seriousness of the subject matter, but I had to laugh.

If you haven’t read the article, you should. In fact, I think every young woman should read this story. It is up-lifting and encouraging. I envy Christopher for his opportunity to know such a wonderful woman. I would give anything to meet a girl just like her.

As the story goes, this guy was about to turn down the chance to go to a church dance with his younger sister and her friends. He was contemplating staying home and indulging in the filthy lusts of porn browsing, but because of the clever teasing and nagging of one the sister’s friends, he decided to go, and ended up having a great time. And he avoided his temptations, which gave him the time to face his addiction and make the right choice in how to handle the problem.

That’s the uplifting part. The part that made it such an enjoyable read for me was the personality of the woman, who was the friend of his sister. I like the idea of girls like her existing in reality. She was clever, witty, flirtatious, and persistent. Some of the things she said was so cute, I found myself giddy and at times laughed out loud.

At one point, Hanna makes the following statement: “Kaitlyn says you scare girls away because you don’t know how to talk to them”. How profound that statement is, to me as well as all the Christophers out there. Christopher needed to hear it. Her words and attention put everything into perspective for him. Hanna was just what Christopher needed.

I don’t have the problems with pornography that Christopher had, but because of the rejection that I have experienced here in Satan George, Utah, I have become just as withdrawn. I too once knew how to talk to girls and prided myself in the interactions I had. I wish I could have that same intervention.

I think every guy deserves a “Hanna Bannana Happy Piana”.

The story never mentioned where that relationship lead, but, being the romantic that I am, I imagine those two forming a healthy friendship and temple marriage. The Lord knows, that woman deserves nothing less. 😉

As you know, I live in a tent out in the desert. I also go to the local food bank and volunteer every morning. On Mondays, in exchange for the hours I work, I am allowed the privilege of doing my laundry. This is an opportunity I look forward to and appreciate. Without that offer, I would be as dirty and grungy as the homeless.

Well, today is Monday; laundry day. However, today an electrician is working on rewiring the laundry facility so I am unable to wash my clothes. This is quite the dilemma for me. It poses two factors of consideration. Since I live so far out in the desert, I try not to carry much weight unless I have to. And, I hate carrying around all my dirty clothes.

So, I took a trash bag and transferred all my dirty clothes into it from my backpack and left it for tomorrow. I am a bit nervous about doing so though. What if the place caught fire tonight? All my clothes would be lost.

I had this thought of having to traverse life in Satan George, Utah in the nude. I would have to streak from place to place. Look at that, Look at that! ♪ “Boogie-dy, boogie-dy. And he ain’t wearing no clothes!” ♪ – Ray Stevens, The Streak.

I’m not so certain anyone would look though. In my dreams, when I dream about being naked, nobody looks. Nobody cares. I wander around amongst well populated areas, and no one ever gives me a glance. Sometimes I come across other naked people in my dreams and they are confused about the same thing. How come nobody is looking?

Dream symbologists* say being naked represents pure honesty and openness. I think that is true. My whole life is an open book. My lifestyle, everything about me available for anyone to see and learn. Yet, nobody takes the time to get to know me. Even people I’ve known for a while refuse to accept that it is so simple to know the true me. That’s the primary reason I have such a significant web presence. So anyone who is interested, may learn about me and accept who I am.

And nobody looks.

I am still having much trouble with that woman who took those dangerous allegations to my religious authority. She and her family wanted to believe I was a monstrous deviant. They refused to learn for themselves who I was. They never contacted me. They never went to my website. They just didn’t care.

I am naked, for the whole world to see. I am a human being. Just like them, just like you. We are all children of God. We are brothers and sisters, siblings in the spirit.

*It’s not a word, but it sounds like it should be. For those who care, the correct word is symbolists. 🙂